You’ve never really been comfortable here, why stay?
This thought sometimes enters your mind, reminding you that where you are doesn’t feel like where you’re meant to be. Had someone asked you 6 months ago where you’d rather be, your answer would be “Washington”, and you’d say it with a big smile on your face. Thing change though, people too, and it seems it wasn’t meant to be. Now if somebody asked you, you might answer with “Canada” or “England”. You don’t want to go alone though, you’re an introvert but that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy the company of others. In some way, you also want to make somebody elses life better, even if for just a while. You know things aren’t goint to be like what they were in Washington, but you realize they shouldn’t be.
Washington
At the time, Washington was everything you could ever hope for. You lived with people who respected your boundaries, who truly cared about you, and made you feel like you belonged. You saw great lakes, and purple mountains majesty. You watched silly shows, bought too much soda, were dragged through the liquor aisle, and went on car rides. You all rested together, ate together, enjoyed life together. You were mostly silent on the car ride to the airport, you cried in the airport waiting to go “home”, it wasn’t really home, you had found home, and it was in Washington. They kept you afloat when you were at your home away from home, through thick and thin. You were looking forward to going back, to visiting again, but things changed. Bridges burned. You want to go back, but you know things won’t be the same.
Somewhere Else
You don’t exactly know where you want to be, but anywhere else sounds pretty good. That uncomfortable feeling you get that weights on your chest isn’t always there in your current “home”, but it’s there enough for you to feel unwelcomed. The problem really isn’t place, so much as people.